For the crit we got into pairs and swapped tables where we evaluated other peoples work together. From this session I gained two sets of feedback.
Feedback sheet
Conceptual Development
Is the message clear, can you understand what is being communicated?
Group 1: Yes - Subject area clearly about adopting a pet.
Group 2: Adopt a cat or dog. Is really clear, trying to get people to adopt. Cat and dog focused.
Practical development
Is the visual outcome appropriate to the message/tone/language and why?
Group 1: Yes it is appropriate, Images and illustrations relate to the subject area of pets.
Tone- There's a balance between the seriousness and playfulness this is obvious through the use of photos and illustration.
Group 2: There's a lot of different elements going on, and all the colours are similar, everything gets lost. Photography does not match the illustrations - They conflict as photography looks more serious and emotive whereas Illustrations look upbeat and lively.
Production
Has the brief been met two colours/ stock?
Group one: Unsure as there seems to be a lot of half tones it could have been the printer but some of the photography looks like a sepia effect and red ribbon.
Group Two: No, the stock differs. Two different types of stock, the envelope differs to the contents.
Dimensions of the envelope?
Group 1: 10mm too tall and 20km too wide.
Group 2: It is a little bigger than intended/ required.
Is the mailing list graphically and visually appropriate?
Group 1: Matches the imagery. You can't read the type thats in grey because of the grey banner, maybe you didn't need the banner.
Group 2: Yes most definitely.
Purpose
What is the purpose of the mail shot and who is the intended audience?
Group 1: To persuade people to adopt a cat or a dog. You've sent it to companies, It should have been to anyone e.g. Families that would adopt, a shop that sells them. Dogs trust Is also a shelter they wouldn't adopt more animals. Its an adults decision, and responsibility, your main copy and font match this.
Group 2: Encouraging people to adopt a pet, the intended audience is families and home owners.
Additional comments
Group 1: Both prefer the photography. Maybe strip it down a bit. Make it simpler, It might be more effective.
Group 2: We like the extra bits, the tags are playful. The contact cars are informative for further action.
The patterned lines on the card distract the audience from the main illustration and contact information.
Actions Required
Group 1: 1. Images or illustration has to be one or the other.
2. Maybe add a brighter colour as the design seems quite down and discouraging.
3. Make envelopes the right size.
Group 2: 1. Decrease the size of the envelopes to 22cm x 11cm
2. See how the card looks with the patterned lines.
3. Keep the same stock.
Changes I have made since the crit.
1. The first change I have made since the crit is making the envelopes, I didn't realise until the morning of the crit when they seemed bigger than everyone else's that I had made them the wrong size. I have since corrected this, reprinted them and they are now 220mm x 110mm.
2. Although I have clarified that there is not much I could improve as far as difference in stock goes, I did find a paper to print my envelopes on which had the same texture as the antique white, but with a paler colouring as this was letting the coherency down. The paper that I have reprinted my envelopes and my mailing list on is 130gsm gummed watercolour paper.
3. I also decided to change the recipients I am sending my mail shot to, Instead I thought it would be more appropriate to send to places such as veterinary surgeons and medical centres, instead of independent business' and dogs trust. I have also changed to addresses to locate to the US as my event takes place in the US in an American pet store.
One comment I got was that I should do my invite with only photography, However the other group identified that I was trying to create a balance between a serious and playful tone of voice. And so I am choosing to keep both the photography and illustration, as my intentions are not to create a serious piece but an informative and light hearted piece.
Feedback sheet
Conceptual Development
Is the message clear, can you understand what is being communicated?
Group 1: Yes - Subject area clearly about adopting a pet.
Group 2: Adopt a cat or dog. Is really clear, trying to get people to adopt. Cat and dog focused.
Practical development
Is the visual outcome appropriate to the message/tone/language and why?
Group 1: Yes it is appropriate, Images and illustrations relate to the subject area of pets.
Tone- There's a balance between the seriousness and playfulness this is obvious through the use of photos and illustration.
Group 2: There's a lot of different elements going on, and all the colours are similar, everything gets lost. Photography does not match the illustrations - They conflict as photography looks more serious and emotive whereas Illustrations look upbeat and lively.
Production
Has the brief been met two colours/ stock?
Group one: Unsure as there seems to be a lot of half tones it could have been the printer but some of the photography looks like a sepia effect and red ribbon.
Group Two: No, the stock differs. Two different types of stock, the envelope differs to the contents.
Dimensions of the envelope?
Group 1: 10mm too tall and 20km too wide.
Group 2: It is a little bigger than intended/ required.
Is the mailing list graphically and visually appropriate?
Group 1: Matches the imagery. You can't read the type thats in grey because of the grey banner, maybe you didn't need the banner.
Group 2: Yes most definitely.
Purpose
What is the purpose of the mail shot and who is the intended audience?
Group 1: To persuade people to adopt a cat or a dog. You've sent it to companies, It should have been to anyone e.g. Families that would adopt, a shop that sells them. Dogs trust Is also a shelter they wouldn't adopt more animals. Its an adults decision, and responsibility, your main copy and font match this.
Group 2: Encouraging people to adopt a pet, the intended audience is families and home owners.
Additional comments
Group 1: Both prefer the photography. Maybe strip it down a bit. Make it simpler, It might be more effective.
Group 2: We like the extra bits, the tags are playful. The contact cars are informative for further action.
The patterned lines on the card distract the audience from the main illustration and contact information.
Actions Required
Group 1: 1. Images or illustration has to be one or the other.
2. Maybe add a brighter colour as the design seems quite down and discouraging.
3. Make envelopes the right size.
Group 2: 1. Decrease the size of the envelopes to 22cm x 11cm
2. See how the card looks with the patterned lines.
3. Keep the same stock.
Changes I have made since the crit.
1. The first change I have made since the crit is making the envelopes, I didn't realise until the morning of the crit when they seemed bigger than everyone else's that I had made them the wrong size. I have since corrected this, reprinted them and they are now 220mm x 110mm.
2. Although I have clarified that there is not much I could improve as far as difference in stock goes, I did find a paper to print my envelopes on which had the same texture as the antique white, but with a paler colouring as this was letting the coherency down. The paper that I have reprinted my envelopes and my mailing list on is 130gsm gummed watercolour paper.
Antique white. Watercolour paper
3. I also decided to change the recipients I am sending my mail shot to, Instead I thought it would be more appropriate to send to places such as veterinary surgeons and medical centres, instead of independent business' and dogs trust. I have also changed to addresses to locate to the US as my event takes place in the US in an American pet store.
One comment I got was that I should do my invite with only photography, However the other group identified that I was trying to create a balance between a serious and playful tone of voice. And so I am choosing to keep both the photography and illustration, as my intentions are not to create a serious piece but an informative and light hearted piece.
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